A Life Worth Living
by waitingformyescape
Summary: The story of one girl's struggle with depression, and the boy who saves her life simply by caring. Sometimes, knowing that someone cares is enough to keep you alive. More than just Bella's story, it's one that needs to be told.
1. Chapter 1

**People, this is a story that really needs to be told. This one itself is fictional, yes, but there are so many people dealing with this out there, and they don't all get their happy endings (which, yes, this story does have). Some people have gone through something traumatic, others haven't. They may be social outcasts. Keep an eye out for the signs. If you know someone who seems like they may be depressed, reach out to them. Some people wear a mask and put up walls, letting no one in. Help them out; they need someone to be there. If someone seems hopeless, give them hope. Sometimes, a person just needs someone to care, it's that simple.**

**One person **_**can**_** make a difference. If you would just take the time to notice and to care, you may end up saving a life.**

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**.:Chapter I:.**

**Bella**

Nobody'll miss me. No one will care. Angela might be sad, but she'll get over it soon. Charlie might blame himself, but he'll just drown himself in his work and forget I'd existed. Renee would cry, but Phil would make her okay. Mike would have to find another girl to follow around, and Lauren and the rest of the school would have to find someone else to hate and ignore. And all would be well.

Before logging off my Facebook account, I changed my status:

_Bella Swan is going down to the cliffs tonight._

Tomorrow, they'd all know what it meant.

I took nothing but my keys. I left my cell phone on the desk—if anyone did happen to figure it out, I didn't want them to try to stop me. I put on my jacket and left the house, hopping into the cab of my truck. I stuck the key into the ignition, twisting it hard, and the truck roared to life.

And I made my way down to La Push.

---

**Edward**

"Edward, can I come in?" my sister called from the other side of the door.

"Sure, Al," I responded. The door squeaked as Alice opened it, and she had a pained expression on her face. "What's wrong?"

She shut the door behind her and sat next to me on my bed. "Edward, you know how I have those… _feelings_… about stuff?" I nodded. Alice had a strange ability to just "feel" what was going to happen. "Well, tonight… something bad's gonna happen… Someone's gonna die."

"Who?" I questioned. This worried me, but I had to be calm, for Alice. It was these kinds of times that it felt like she was so much younger, rather than the same age as me, seventeen.

"I don't know," she whimpered. "All I know is that someone's gonna die _tonight_."

I wrapped my arms around her small body, trying to reassure her. "Shh, Ali, it'll be okay. We'll figure something out." She nodded and leaned into my arms. And then five minutes later, she was asleep. I laid her down gently on the bed and got off.

To distract myself from the thoughts of Alice's premonition, I turned on my computer and logged onto Facebook. I scrolled down my news feed, looking for anything interesting.

There was an invite to a party at Mike's this weekend. Lauren had posted photos from a mall excursion with Jessica Stanley and a few other girls. Twelve kids from my school, eleven girls and that one gay kid, were going to a Jonas Brothers concert in Seattle next weekend. And then one line caught my eye.

_Bella Swan is going down to the cliffs tonight._

I was staring at the words she'd posted just five minutes ago, and something hit me.

Bella Swan. Cliffs. Death. _Tonight_. Alice had been talking about _Bella_.

I was out of my room in just a few short seconds. I nearly tripped twice on the stairs as I made my way down. My jacket, sneakers, and keys were all right by the front door. I stuck my feet in the shoes, not bothering to tie them, and put my jacket on as I ran.

I sped down the road toward La Push, the only cliffs in the area.

But why would Bella, the smartest, most beautiful girl I'd ever met, be suicidal?

Over the past month or two, she _had_ changed her look, making it much darker. She'd painted her nails black, traded cute flats for old black Converses, replaced her bright tops with t-shirts for bands that I wouldn't have thought she would listen to, started wearing thick black eyeliner, and, just last week, dyed her hair a deep black with just a hit of red.

The signs were there—sudden image change, withdrawal from her friends, everything—but the question was, _why_?

I passed the "Welcome to La Push" sign at the border of the reservation, and made a sharp right, taking a shortcut to the cliffs. I had to stop the car when I reached the small footpath, though, and jumped out of the car and sprinted, not bothering to shut off the engine or even shut the door.

_Please don't let me be too late!_

When I got to the end, where the trees stopped by the cliff, I saw her. A beautiful, lonely girl standing right at the edge, about to end her life.

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Tell your friends about this story. Pimp it out when you post yours. Get it out there. Because people need to know.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so here's the next bit. It's longer.**

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**.:Chapter II:.**

**Bella**

The waves crashed against the base of the cliff. The harsh wind whipped my hair in my face. The smell of the ocean filled my head, calming me.

I smiled slightly, staring out into the stormy ocean. It was dark and gloomy, matching my mood perfectly. How cliché.

One step. I was just one step from the end, the end of this miserable thing called life. The end of hatred and ridicule and futile efforts.

I wondered briefly what death was like. Did heaven and hell exist? Would I go to heaven for being a generally good person, or hell for not being good enough? Or would I just go to hell for suicide? Maybe I would be reincarnated. Would it be as a human, or an animal? What kind of animal? Or maybe I would simply cease to exist.

That seemed the most likely possibility. It was also exactly what I wanted.

Soft footsteps tore me from my thoughts, but I didn't move. Who else would be out here at this time of night?

"Bella," someone said softly.

I turned slowly towards the source. All I could see in the dark was a faint outline, but I knew from the voice that it was male. He approached somewhat slowly, as if trying not to scare me. What was this person doing out here?

I watched him, not responding in words. He paused about five feet away from me.

"Bella, don't do this," he pleaded gently. His voice was very familiar; I knew I should recognize it.

I could hardly whisper. "Why not?" Why did this guy care? Who was he?

He hesitated for a moment, then took a few more steps forward. "What reason do you have to die?"

"What reason do I have to live?" I countered sadly.

He started listing things, things I'd already contemplated. "Charlie. Your mother. Angela. Mike." I shuddered. "Okay, _that_ might not help my case. But so many people will miss you. _I'll_ miss you. Alice will beat herself up forever—"

"Wait, Alice _Cullen?_" He nodded. I narrowed my eyes and thought for a moment, then finally realized who he was. "_Edward?_"

He nodded again. "Yeah, it's me," he said softly.

"Why do _you_ care? Why are you out here stopping me?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again and smirked. "Well, I have lots of reasons. But if you think have no reason to live, your reason is to _find_ a reason, if that makes any sense." It made some.

He took another step and held his hand out to me tentatively. "Come on, Bella. Come with me. You don't have to do this, not now. Not tonight." I could see the worry and sincerity in his eyes; he did actually care.

I took a step away from the edge and lightly placed my hand in his. He smiled kindly and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. He tugged my arm gently and I followed him, very slowly. He led me to a small path into the woods.

"My car?" I asked, my voice small.

"I… don't exactly trust you with driving right now," he said with a grimace. "I'll have Alice come and pick it up. Are your keys in your car?" I nodded. "Okay. I'll call her when we get to my car, then." I nodded and trailed behind him silently.

---

**Edward**

I smiled when she took my hand; it seemed that the fact that someone cared enough to come up here and stop her was good enough reason not to die, for now, at least. I was just glad that I'd gotten there in time to save her.

I led her back down the path to my car. She was silent, except for asking about her truck, and she acted like a frightened little child.

When we got to the Volvo, I opened the passenger door and allowed her to slide in. My door was still open.

"Where do you want to go, Bella?" I asked gently. "Do you want to go home?" She looked at me with wide eyes and shook her head vigorously. "Okay. Do you want to go to my house?" She nodded once. I smiled and pulled out my phone, opening up a new text message to Alice.

_Al-_

_There's an old red truck up at the cliffs at La Push._

_Could you please go pick it up and bring it home?_

_The keys are in it. I'll explain later._

_-E_

I stuck the keys in the ignition and started toward home. A few minutes later, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

_E-_

_Okay, I'll do that._

_Yeah, you WILL explain._

_Why is the death feeling gone?_

_Is that part of this?_

_-Al_

I typed up a quick response.

_Al-_

_Thanks._

_And yes, it is._

_Love you._

_-E_

I shoved the phone back in my pocket and glanced over at Bella; her hands were clasped in her lap and she was staring at them. I was about to ask her if she was alright, but then I remembered, of course she wasn't okay, she was about to kill herself just five minutes ago. So I let the silence continue.

As I turned onto our street, a shiny canary yellow Porsche, obviously Alice's, sped passed us in the other direction.

I pulled up to the house, parking the car in the garage, and went around to open Bella's door; she seemed unable to do anything without some kind of prompting. I took her hand and led her into the house and up the stairs. No one noticed us; Jasper and Emmett were in the den playing Halo, Esme was in the kitchen, and Carlisle was still at the hospital, so I assumed that Alice dragged Rosalie with her so someone could drive the truck.

I took Bella into my bedroom and shut the door behind us. I sat down on the puffy leather couch, patting the seat next to me in hopes that she might join me. Instead, she seated herself on the floor in front of the couch, so I slid down beside her.

Bella was still staring at her hands. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked gently after a few long moments.

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, her lip trembling. Then she suddenly burst out crying, putting her face in her hands. I wrapped my arms around her, and she grabbed my shirt and started sobbing into my chest. I knew her tears and running black makeup were staining my shirt, but I didn't care. That didn't matter right now. I held her close and whispered soothing words in her ear until she cried herself to sleep.

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**So there be chapter two. Next chapter, you'll find out her reasons.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so my chapters are just getting longer and longer. But whatever.**

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**.:Chapter III:.**

**Edward**

"Edward!"

My eyes snapped open at the sound of my mother's voice. I blinked a few times and looked at Esme, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips, to Bella, sleeping peacefully in my arms, and back at Esme. This could _not_ look good.

"Edward, the school just called about your absence. I covered for you and told them that important family issues came up and your presence was needed, so you're off the hook with them for the day. _I_, on the other hand, need the truth. Why the hell are you and this girl asleep on your floor and skipping school and why was I not informed that she was even in this house? And who is she?" _Damn_, Esme was angry. I took a deep breath and started into my explanation.

"First off, it's Bella Swan. Last night I was out driving and I came across her. She was… well, in need of some help. So I brought her back here and she just fell asleep." I felt bad lying to Esme—I'd never done it much—but it was close enough and I didn't think Bella would really want the whole truth out.

"What… what kind of help?" Esme questioned skeptically. I sighed.

"That is not for me to tell." She raised an eyebrow.

"Alright. Just make sure her father knows she's here." I nodded, and she left my room, shutting the door gently.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed the non-emergency number for the police station. I talked to Cheif Swan and told him where Bella was. At first he was angry, but relieved to know where she was. I told him that she had come over to work on a Bio project, then felt sick and fell asleep. He made me promise to have her call him when she woke up.

After hanging up, I spent the next few minutes watching Bella as she slept. She was beautiful; even with makeup streaking down her face and eyes red from crying, she was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever laid eyes on.

A good while later, she began to stir. She rolled onto her back so she was facing up directly at me, her head still in my lap. She rubbed her eyes with her fists and opened them, blinking a few times. She looked at me, then shot up, taking in her surroundings. After apparently remembering where she was and why, she relaxed slightly and turned to me.

"Hi," she said meekly.

I smiled. "Hey. You alright?" She nodded and wiped her eye again, then frowned at the smudges on her fist. "Let's go get you cleaned up," I suggested, standing and pulling her up with me. I led her into the bathroom and wetted a washcloth, wiping the makeup off her face. Again, she seemed unable to do anything without assistance, as though she were an incapable child.

"Okay, you… y'know, do what you need to do, and I'll go get some breakfast. What would you like?" She shrugged. "Is cereal okay?" She nodded. "Okay, I'll be back in a few."

---

**Charlie**

"Hey, Chief! Phone call!" one of my deputies shouted. I picked up the phone, wondering if it was the school again. I'd gotten a call earlier about her absence. I told them she was sick, but I had no idea—I just thought she'd woken up after I left this morning. Her truck was there when I left, and I tried both the home phone and her cell phone, but she hadn't picked up.

"Chief Swan speaking."

An unfamiliar voice came from the other end. "Hi, it's Edward Cullen. I just thought I ought to let you know that Bella is over here at our house, she's perfectly fine, so you don't have to worry about her—"

"Why is she there?" What the hell was this kid doing with my daughter? I knew it probably wasn't anything like kidnapping or something – the only troublemaker in that household was the real big kid, what's-his-name.

"She.. came over to work on a Bio project with me—we're lab partners—and then she just fell asleep. I don't think she's feeling too well." I remembered Bella telling me about being partnered with one of the Cullen kids for something. But why was this kid calling me instead of Bella?

"Could I please talk to her myself?" I asked.

"Well, she's actually still asleep. I'll have her call you when she wakes up, if you'd like." He seemed okay. A kidnapper wouldn't offer something like that, I knew from experience.

"You'd better. I've been worried sick about her."

"Alright sir, I will."

"Okay. Bye, kid."

"Goodbye, sir."

I put the phone back in the holder. "Marks, could you give me the Cullen's house number?" I shouted.

"Sure." I heard some typing, and then he gave me the number and I dialed, wanting to verify Edward's story. I didn't trust teenage boys. The phone rang just twice before someone picked up.

"Hello?" a kind voice answered.

"Esme Cullen?"

"Yes, this is she," she answered, sounding confused.

"This is Chief Swan—"

"Oh, what did Emmett do this time?" Emmett? Oh, right, the troublemaker.

"Actually, I was calling about my daughter, Bella. I've been told she stayed at your home last night, that she fell asleep while working on a Biology project, and doesn't feel well. Is this true?"

"Yes, it is. I promise you, we're taking good care of her. It's probably just a stomach bug. She's with Edward right now, and I think he may have caught it from her. I would take her back home, but I don't think a car ride would be good for her."

"Well, thank you. But please do send her home as soon as she feels better."

"Oh, of course," she reassured me.

"Okay, thanks again," I said awkwardly.

"You're welcome, Charlie."

"Um, good bye, then."

"Good bye," she chuckled, hanging up. I put the phone back on the hook.

"Marks, do a background check on the Cullens. And the Hales, while you're at it." I trusted the doctor and his wife, but double-checking on their kids would make me feel a bit better about where Bella was staying.

I heard the keys clacking as he searched the records, and then replied. "Esme and Carlisle Cullen are clean, as are Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale. Emmett Cullen has two fights, both a few years ago, and a few 'pranks gone wrong' on his record. Edward Cullen and Jasper Hale both seem to have gotten caught up with one of them, and Edward has two speeding tickets. Why?"

"Oh, no reason."

---

**Edward**

When we finished eating, I took Bella's bowl and put it on the tray with mine, then pushed it aside.

"Okay, Bella. Time to talk."

She hung her head, fiddling with the hair ties on her left wrist.

"Bella, what happened that's bad enough to make you want to… you know..."

"Nothing," she whispered.

I cupped her cheek in my hand and turned her head so she had to look at me. I waited until she finally allowed her eyes to meet mine.

"Bella. What's wrong?"

She dropped her eyes and sighed. "Everything's wrong."

"Okay, when did this start, exactly?"

"I don't really know," she said. And the floodgates opened. "I mean, I've always been a loner by choice, but never really purposely excluded. Forgotten, yeah, but not excluded. But now I am, and… I don't know, it just bothers me. Why did Austin refuse to be my lab partner? Why was everyone whispering about me when Mr. Banner took him out into the hall for that? Why were they saying, 'I don't blame him, I wouldn't want to work with her either'? Why did Jessica invite everyone in the entire school to her party, everyone except me? She didn't just forget me, either, because Angela pointed it out to her and she was just like, 'I know.' Apparently, being quiet makes people hate me. I don't know what I ever did to anyone, except maybe constantly turning down Mike freaking Newton. Jessica's now BFFs with Lauren, so she hates me now. Angela's still nice to me, but her time is taken up by Ben and her job. Mike still likes me, obviously, but he's just annoying. Reneé's across the country in Florida, Charlie works so much that he's hardly a part of my life anymore. I don't have a boyfriend, I never have, and unless I want to date Mike, I probably never will. It's not that I really want one, it's just that, well, if I did, that would mean _someone_ cared, but no one does –"

"That's where you're wrong, Bella," I countered. "At the very least, _I_ care." _How much_ I cared, however, was a different matter.

She frowned. "Why?" she asked, seeming confused.

I didn't think now was the best time to tell her I'd been crushing on her for over two years. So I just listed all the reasons why she was perfect. "You're different. You're brilliant. You have a unique sense of humor, even if it is kind of morbid. You're beautiful. You're genuine, you care about others, you're not a slut—those are rare qualities in today's world. The only reason everyone in town isn't in love with you is because you don't talk to them, show them how wonderful you are."

She looked down and blushed furiously, but didn't say a word.

"So is that the only reason you… " I was kind of uncomfortable saying the word aloud when it was so real.

Bella sighed and shifted slightly. "No. I just… I just feel like such a failure. My grades suck lately, because I just can't make myself do all the work. I mean, it's not much, but I just can't get myself to _do_ it. Then Charlie gets a call from a teacher about it, and he's all disappointed and everything, so I feel even worse. I definitely can't tell him about this. And… I don't know, I just feel like I fail at everything I try to do." She sniffled, and that's when I noticed she was crying. I leaned in and wiped the tears off her face with my thumbs, then hugged her tightly.

"It's okay, Bella. Everything's going to be okay," I whispered.

We spent a few hours just sitting there silently. My heart was beating wildly at her close proximity, and I prayed she couldn't hear it.

Sometime in the afternoon, she fell asleep. I lifted her easily—she was very light—and laid her gently on my bed. I turned to go lay down on the couch; as soon as physical contact was lost, however, she began to whimper. I touched her hand again, and she quieted instantly, a soft smile crossing her face. So I lay down beside her, pulling her close. She looked so peaceful; if I didn't know, I never would've guessed just how much she was suffering inside.

---

**Alice**

After school, I'd gone by Bella's house to pick up a few of her things, because I had a feeling that she would be staying the weekend. After picking the lock because no one was home—I found it kind of funny actually, that I was breaking into the police chief's house; Emmett would be proud—I grabbed some of her clothes (which were absurdly boring), as well as her toothbrush and such. I also got her cell phone, which I noticed lying on her desk, and a teddy bear sitting on her bed.

I went straight to Edward's room when I got home. I cracked the door open to set the bag down inside; Bella was laying on Edward's bed. With Edward. She was cuddled up against his chest, his arms around her as they slept. I had to slap my hand over my mouth to keep from "aww"ing and risk waking them. It was one of the most adorable sights I'd ever seen.

_They're perfect for each other_, I thought to myself as I shut the door silently and let them sleep.

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**I just kind of put in Charlie's POV for fun. I dunno. I felt like it.**

**Some of you may be surprised by how much she told Edward, and how easy it seemed. Well, it wasn't easy, not at all. But really, all she wanted was for someone to care. To be able to _tell_ someone. Sometimes, that's really all you need.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So, this one's not a happy chapter. Not that this is a happy story or anything.**

**Everyone who's reviewed, I really appreciate it. A lot.**

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**.:Chapter IV:.**

**_Edward_**

The second time that day, I woke when someone spoke my name. But as I looked around the room, I saw no one who could have spoken. The only other person was Bella, who slept peacefully beside me.

"Edward," she muttered a few moments later.

_Is she dreaming about _me? I hoped so. I watched her for a while, waiting to see if she would say anything else. And, sure enough, a while later, she did.

"Edward… Thank you…"

She was silent after that. I wasn't tired, so I propped my head up in my hand and watched her as she slept again.

I wondered once more why such a perfect girl would want to… die. I mean, I understood her reasons, but still… And why hadn't she told anyone, if it was that bad? Why had she not talked to someone about it, someone who could help her? Or… what if she didn't _want_ help? If she knew how bad it was and didn't _want_ to get out of it, except through death? I cringed at the thought.

A while later, when the sun started to hide behind the trees, Bella began to stir. Her back was to me, and I saw her reach up and rub her fists in her eyes. She groaned and rolled over, her arm landing across my waist. Her eyes popped open when she hit me, and she blinked a few times, bewildered.

"Hey, sleepyhead," I whispered, reaching over to gently brush of lock of hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear.

"Hi," she croaked, her voice thick from sleep. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Hi. How long have you been up?"

"Only a few minutes," I lied; I figured she might find it kind of stalkerish if I told her that I'd been watching her sleep. In my defense, I hadn't been _just_ watching her; I was thinking, too.

"What did you hear? I know I talk." She turned a light pink and sat up.

"Well… you said my name a couple times, and then you said 'thank you.'" Bella flushed bright red and looked down, hiding her face behind her hair.

"Thank you," she whispered, barely audible.

I brushed her hair behind her ear again and placed my palm softly against her cheek. She looked up at me through her thick lashes.

"Really, Bella. It's no problem. At all," I told her, my voice sincere. She closed her eyes and leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

I finally noticed the bags sitting just inside the door. "Hold on a second," I told Bella, and got up to see what was in them. It was clothes.

"Bella, I think Alice brought you some stuff to wear."

"Huh?" She got up and joined me, stumbling once on her way over. "Yeah, that's my stuff. But how did she get in? Charlie's not even home yet."

I chuckled. "She probably picked the lock." Bella looked at me in what seemed like horror. "Don't worry, she wouldn't do anything bad, it's just a useful skill."

"But why does she know how to pick a lock?"

I rolled my eyes. "Mostly because we live with Emmett. He likes to lock doors for the hell of it and then make us pay to have him unlock it. Because he's Emmett. So Alice learned how to pick them and doesn't charge us. I still don't think he knows that—every time we get in, it baffles him." I laughed.

She looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. "Your family is strange," she finally said.

"And?" I challenged her, raising one eyebrow. She shrugged.

"Nothing. It's not bad. Just… it must be amusing to live here," she commented, grabbing a set of clothing.

"Oh, it is. But not at night." I shuddered. "I'm just glad I'm on the top floor."

She paused and tilted her head to the side. "What?"

"Emmett and Rosalie. I'm glad I'm not on the floor below them, or on the same floor. I can still hear them from up here, but it's not as bad."

She frowned and pursed her lips. "What are you talking about?" I looked at her amusedly; she was obviously very… _innocent_. If I let Emmett talk to her at all, she would be scarred.

"Bella—Emmett and Rosalie. In their room. At night. Loud. I know you've seen them at school, but it's a _lot_ worse here." Almost every teacher in the school has had to break them apart at some point.

A look of comprehension dawned on her face, and then disgust. "Oh, EW! I did _not_ want to know that, Edward!"

I smirked. "Hey, you wanted to know why I was happy living up here."

She opened her mouth to protest, but shut it again and walked into the bathroom. A moment later, she called out, "Hey, Edward, can I use your shower?"

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead," I replied, and she turned on the water. I laid back on my bed, just thinking about everything.

Just after I heard the water turn off, she called out again, sounding embarrassed. "Um, Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you give me my pants? I think I dropped them," she admitted.

"Sure," I chuckled, getting up. Right by her bags, there was indeed a pair of sweatpants lying on the floor. I picked them up and knocked on the bathroom door. She cracked it open and stuck her hand out, and I gave her the pants. But before she pulled her hand back in, I saw something that shocked me.

"Thanks," she said as she shut the door. I sat back down on the edge of the bed, not able to really even think.

There were a few red lines running across her wrist.

Was this why she always wore a bunch of hair ties around her wrist? Now that I thought about it, I'd never actually seen her use them.

When Bella came out a few moments later, the hair ties were back in their place.

"What's wrong?" she asked, seeing the look on my face. She sat down next to me, and I turned my body towards her.

"Bella, can I see your hands?" I knew that she would never let me see the scars willingly.

"What?"

"Your hands," I repeated, holding my own out. She hesitantly placed her hands in mine, palms up. Then I grasped her left hand tightly so she couldn't pull it away and reached over and pulled her hair ties down towards her elbow.

Sure enough, there was a small series of scars there. There were only three of them; just enough to be hidden by her hair ties. Each one looked to be from a different time. I lightly traced the reddest line with the tip of my finger.

"Bella…" I whispered, looking at her; she had her head hung and her face hidden behind her hair. She tugged at the hair ties that were probably cutting off the blood circulation. I dropped her hand and she pulled them back up to where they were, adjusting them just so to hide the cuts.

"Bella, when did this start?" I asked quietly.

She didn't look up when she spoke. "About the beginning of the school year."

I frowned at this information. "These don't look old enough," I stated.

"They aren't."

"But then…?" I trailed off, confused.

She sighed heavily, then pulled up the legs of her pants. Both of her legs were scattered with long, thin scars, most of them healed. She then carefully pulled down one side of her sweatpants, only enough to let me see the train tracks on her upper thigh, then did the same on the other side. She pointed at the scratches on both of her arms, the ones that I simply thought were because she fell a lot. She lifted her shirt slightly and on her hip I saw an asterisk-shaped scar, made of three lines; it looked like it was the oldest thus far. She pulled down the collar of her shirt, revealing one long, deep cut from her shoulder to the center of her chest; this one looked to be the newest, still scabbed over. She re-crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap, staring at them. She hadn't once looked at me or made a sound.

My eyes were wide in shock. "Bella… _why?_" I asked, my voice cracking. She met my eyes.

"I already told you why."

"H-how…" I stuttered.

"With a razor blade," she replied dryly. I shook my head and tried again.

"No, no, I mean… how could you do this to yourself?"

She looked away, suddenly shy. "You're going to think I'm a freak…"

"No, Bella, I won't. Troubled, maybe, but not a freak," I assured her.

"Well, I… I dunno, I _like_ the pain, and the blood, and the scars," she admitted.

I was silent for a minute, processing this. "Okay, that's a bit masochistic. But, Bella, you've got to stop doing this—"

"Why is this suck a shock to you, Edward?" she demanded, almost angry, and on the defensive now. "I mean, you already know I want to die; hell, you found me about to do it. I didn't think this would be much of a surprise after that." I thought about that for a moment.

"I don't know. I guess… I guess it's just the undeniable physical proof of your pain. It—it's just forcing me to realize how much you must be hurting if you can do this to yourself." It was a harsh realization indeed.

"Edward, this pain," she pointed to her wrist, "was nothing. _Nothing_." Her voice cracked on the last word, and the tears brimming in her eyes started to spill over. I pulled her close and she snuggled into my side, sniffling quietly.

"Don't worry, Bella. It'll be okay. Everything's going to be okay," I told her soothingly.

"But how can you know that, Edward? You can't see the future." I took her face in my hands and looked her straight in the eye, brushing the tears off her cheeks with my thumbs.

"Because I'm going to _make_ it okay," I promised, conviction strong in my voice. She buried her face in the crook of my neck and wrapped her arms tightly around my chest. I kissed the top of her head as I made a silent promise to myself.

_I _will_ make her okay. I _will_ help this angel find happiness again._

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**Yep. No happy. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Just an FYI, yes, I did change the summary. Also, I have added a note at the very beginning of the story.**

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**.:Chapter V:.**

**Edward**

"Kids, dinner's ready!" Esme yelled from the kitchen.

"Bella, would you like to eat dinner with my family, or up here?" I offered. She shook her head.

"Up here, please," she said quietly, just as I'd expected.

I hopped off the bed. "Okay, then. I'll go get the food. I'm sure Esme won't mind."

Downstairs, everyone was already assembled at the dining table, chatting noisily. But when I walked in, they all stopped talking and turned towards me expectantly.

"What?" I asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

Emmett spoke first. "So, Eddie, what's this I hear about you hiding a girl in your room?" he said with a suggestive smirk on his face. He never was very tactful. I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes.

"Emmett, I'm not 'hiding a girl in my room.' She's staying here for the weekend, and she just doesn't really want to be around people very much right now."

"Why not?" Jasper asked.

"Because… she's going through a really tough time." I didn't know how much Bella would be okay with revealing to them, but I figured she didn't want anyone to know.

"Why is she with _you?_"

I shrugged. "Because I found her when she was… having an emotional breakdown." Close enough.

"Edward, who the hell is it and why did I have to drive her nasty old truck here?" Rosalie demanded; she was never one for beating around the bush. I sighed, exasperated.

"It's Bella Swan and because she was in no condition to drive it herself. Now if you don't mind, I'm getting some food."

I stormed off to the kitchen, but Esme met me halfway, with a tray with two plates of food. I kissed her on the cheek and thanked her before carefully rushing back up the stairs with the food.

Bella was still sitting on the bed, so I set the tray in front of her. "Breaded chicken, pesto noodles, and corn. Is that alright?"

She nodded. "Edward, you don't have to stay up here, you can go eat with your family if y—" I placed a finger on her lips to silence her.

"Bella, I _want_ to be here with you. I'm going to. Okay?" She nodded and I removed my finger. "Good. Now eat."

After she'd finally eaten every scrap of food on the plate—the way she was eating, you'd think she was a starving child in Africa—she pushed the plate away with a groan.

"Edward, tell your mom she's a fucking amazing cook," she said, and I had to laugh. I figured now was a good time to broach the subject.

"Bella," I started hesitantly, "when I went downstairs earlier, my family bombarded me with questions as to why you're here." She closed her eyes, probably not wanting to deal with this complication. "What do you want the story to be?"

She sighed. "What did you say already?"

I relayed the earlier conversation to her.

"Well, that's okay. Just… please don't tell them what I was doing up at the cliffs," she pleaded.

"Don't worry, love, I won't. I figured you didn't really want that to be public knowledge."

"I don't," she confirmed.

This reminded me of the call I'd made earlier. "Oh, um, by the way, Esme kinda came in this morning, and she suggested I call your dad and let him know where you were."

Bella's eyes widened. "Did you?"

"Yeah. I'm glad I did, too. I swear, he would've sent out a search party soon, he was so panicked."

"What did you tell him?" she asked warily.

"I told him you came over to work on a Bio project, and you got sick and fell asleep. It's a perfectly good excuse, too; we did have that lab from last class. No one knows we finished it already, because no one else ever does," I commented, rolling my eyes. "So… is that what you want to be 'public story'?"

"Actually, that does work. Yeah, that's good." She sighed.

"What?"

She sighed again and let her head fall back, looking at the ceiling. "Obviously, I did not plan on having to deal with this. I didn't plan on having to deal with _anything_. Duh. But I never really took into account the possibility of…" she trailed off, and then furrowed her brows. "Failure," she whispered.

I didn't say anything, since I didn't really get it.

"Oh, god," she sobbed, putting her face in her hands. "I failed. _Again_. I can't do anything right. I even fail at dying! I'm not even good enough for that." She was full-on bawling now, and yet again, the sight broke my heart.

I wrapped my arms around her—and frankly, circumstances aside, it just felt _right_—and rubbed her back.

"Oh, Bella," I sighed sadly.

"I'm so _pathetic!_" she wailed. "I guess I don't even deserve the peace it would've brought. I definitely don't deserve your attention, much less your sympathy."

I grabbed both sides of her face with my hands and stared angrily into her sad eyes.

"Listen to me, Bella," I growled. "You are not pathetic. You do not fail at everything. You are _more _than good enough for _anything_. Hell, if anything, you're _too_ good! You do deserve peace, but you just chose the wrong way to find it, and that's why it didn't work. You deserve _happiness_ peace, not nothingness. You deserve everything, and no less."

By this point she had closed her eyes and was shaking her head, trying to get out of my hold. "Stop it, Edward. Just stop lying—"

"I. Am. Not. Fucking. Lying."

"Why do you even _care_, Edward?" she demanded.

I was a bit taken aback by this. "Because I just do, Bella. Isn't that enough?" I asked softly.

"But—I—I don't _understand_. It makes no sense for anyone to give a shit about me, I just don't get why you—"

"Because you're an amazing, smart, beautiful, funny, caring, witty, adorable, incredible girl," I said, keeping my voice soft as she turned redder and redder by the second. "God, has no one ever _told_ you that?"

She shook her head. "No. Because it isn't true."

I dropped my hands from her face and clenched them into fists. "Bella." She looked up at my suddenly sharp tone. "I was raised not to hit girls, but if you keep this up, I don't think I'm going to be able to stop myself from slapping you and knocking some sense into your fucking stubborn head!"

She cringed fearfully, and I forced myself to calm down, ashamed that I would even consider hurting her.

"Look, Bella. You are blind. I'd take you to a mirror and try to show you what is really there, but that probably wouldn't work right now, what with the puffy red eyes and the blotchy skin and all. Which is just an effect of the crying."

"Edward, you don't have to do that," she said quietly, looking at the carpet. "I've seen myself before. I'm just a stupid, ugly, useless, worthless—"

I stood up and, needing to hit something, I slapped the pillow on the couch beside me, hard. "GOD DAMMIT, BELLA! What the hell is your problem?!" I shouted, and she fell back in surprise. More tears were welling up in her eyes. I started pacing angrily, throwing my arms in the air. "Why the fuck can you not see yourself clearly? Your mirror must be fucked up or something. God, I wish I could make you fucking see yourself through my eyes, then you'd finally see yourself for what you really fucking are. _Amazing_. Bella, you are one of the best fucking people I know. You've just got one real flaw: your self-esteem is _shit_, and I don't know why. It makes no fucking se—Oh god, Bella, I'm sorry!"

Now that I'd turned back to her, I finally noticed that she was curled up in a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth, sobbing loudly. God, I must have scared her. Well, now _I_ felt like shit. I got down on my knees and touched her arm gently.

"Jesus, Bella, I'm sorry," I said softly. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just—it's just so _frustrating_. Not to mention the fact that I kind of already have an issue with my temper. Not that that's any excuse. There is no excuse. God, I'm such an idiot…" I rambled. I pulled my hand away, figuring she might not want me to touch her since I'd just scared the crap out of her. But she grabbed my arm with both hands and pulled me towards her. So I sat back against the couch and picked her up, setting her in my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and started rocking her back and forth as I hummed a random little tune in her ear.

Eventually, she calmed down and wiped her face with her hands again.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said quietly.

"What the hell for?"

"I keep freaking out and crying all over you and I'm sure you don't want to have to deal with an emotionally unstable girl."

I shook my head. "Silly Bella. That one was my fault, and I'm really sorry about that. And, well, if I didn't want to deal with this, I wouldn't have chosen to. It's not a chore or anything for me, Bella. I _want_ to be here for you."

She tucked her face into my chest. "I just… I'm really glad you're here," she whispered. "I mean, I haven't been able to really cry in forever. And I—I'm… I'm happy someone cares…"

"Oh, Bella," I said sadly. "I'm not the only one who cares. Lots of people care about you. I'm just… the one that _noticed_." Something occurred to me then. "Huh. I'm surprised that Ro…" _that Rose didn't notice_, I finished in my head.

"Surprised that…?" she prompted, looking at me curiously.

I shook my head. "It's nothing." _It's strange, though… she should have…_

She relaxed against me again. "Y'know," she mumbled, "I like it here. It feels safe."

I hugged her tighter and kissed the top of her head.

"You'll always be safe here, Bella," I whispered. "Always."

---

_**Bella**_

I had no idea why I'd spilled my heart out to Edward. He was just a random boy who found me.

Then again, he was a random boy who found me. He cared enough to come find me and stop me from ending it all. That had to mean something, right?

So now he knew everything about me. I didn't know why he cared, but he did. And it felt really good to get it all out.

The thing was, even if he did care, he couldn't really _understand_. And though I really did appreciate Edward and all, I also needed to talk to someone who did, someone who knew what it was to feel like this.

Edward offered dessert a while later. I had a big bowl of vanilla ice cream, and he had chocolate. I stole some of his with my spoon, though.

Eventually he suggested that I go to bed. I wasn't really tired—after all, I'd slept for a quite a while during the day—but when he mentioned that it was eleven o'clock, I relented. It was past bedtime, after all.

I changed and brushed my teeth in his bathroom, and when I came out, he was on the couch with a blanket and a pillow.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Going to bed."

"On your couch? Seriously?"

"Yeah. Where else would I sleep?"

"Uh, your bed?" I pointed out.

"You're sleeping on the bed."

"It's your bed."

"Yeah, and you're the guest. Guests don't sleep on the couch in this house," he said adamantly.

I stalked over to the bed and picked up a pillow. I then set it on the couch on the opposite side of him and lay down, pulling his blanket so it covered me, as well.

"What are you doing?" he asked. He looked highly amused.

"Going to bed." He sighed heavily.

"Really, Bella. You're sleeping on the fucking bed."

"I'm just fine right here on the couch, thanks." I poked it a few times. "It's actually really comfy. I didn't know couches could be."

"Get in the bed."

"You get in the bed." I knew I was being extremely childish, but I didn't really care. It was his bed, he should be sleeping in it.

"Bella…" He was actually getting annoyed now.

"Okay, how about we both sleep on the bed?" I suggested. "It's more than big enough." He looked at me skeptically. "It worked earlier, didn't it?"

"That was just because you wouldn't let me leave," he said arrogantly.

"Huh?"

"I laid you down on the bed, and as soon as I left, you started whining. When I came back, you stopped."

I flushed bright pink. "But still. You won't let me sleep on the couch, and I won't let you sleep on the couch. So neither of us sleeps on the couch."

He sighed in defeat and got up. "Fine, Bella," he said, rolling his eyes with a tiny smile on his face. I grabbed the pillow and went over and flopped down on the bed, then snuggled under the covers. When he reached the bed, he chuckled.

"You really are desperate for me to sleep with you, huh?"

I scrunched up my face and pouted. "Fuck you, Edward," I said childishly. He knew what I'd meant.

He laughed again. "I know you want to."

I just glared at him. Then I reached my hand out from under the blankets and flipped him off. This just made him laugh harder.

"God, I had no idea you were so _silly_, Bella," he said as he crawled under the sheets.

"No one does," I said emotionlessly. It was true. No one really got me to talk enough to know what a weirdo I was. Not just recently, but throughout my life.

"Oh, Bella," he sighed, reaching out and pulling me to him. I snuggled up against him. What I'd told him earlier was true; I really did feel safe with him.

He quickly rolled over to turn off the light, but then rolled back over so he was hugging me again.

"Goodnight, Bella," he whispered.

I yawned. "Goodnight, Edward," I said as I drifted off to sleep.

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**Review, please. And pimp me out. Not because I want to be some big author; I couldn't care less about that. Let people know about this story because, as I've said before, it's one that needs to be told. Remember: sometimes, saving a life is as simple as caring.**

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